The Light Skin Theory
So Caucasian people tan to get darker and darker African Americans tend to bleach their skin to become lighter. This alarming trend was brought to my attention by watching a show that I despise because I believe that the person is not genuine.
These women in particular, came on television and shared their beliefs and felt that it was cool to want lighter skin and that is why they bleach theirs. What is more absurd about this is they bleach their children’s skin along with theirs. The stereotype of lighter being better is a problem I have had to overcome throughout my existence. I know several women and men who subconsciously settle because they want a stereotypical beautiful lover. Now as far as my background goes, I am one of those guys who look for what I want to love, with my eyes. Shallow as I appear to be to some people, I am not against dating darker women. Now on the other side of the spectrum there are people who do not even look at darker skinned people because they feel they are “disgusting”. This is interestingly weird to me because they are of midnight complexion themselves. Liking lighter skinned women was a cover for me because I was not happy with me because a lot of girls passed on me not because I was not the stereotypical lighter toned guy. I was “too dark”!
I am guilty of being attracted to lighter toned women with long hair that are shapely. I personally think if she is lighter than me, she is light skinned (To justify my position, laughing). But personally, I have a heavy attraction to women and no matter what complexion they are, I look for features on them that are attractive to me and then that makes me become drawn to them. There probably are men who think the same way as these particular women I watched!
One way to look at this problem is through the psychological debate of nature v. Nurture. Nurture is the parenting at home and the surrounding family structure. Nature is the outside world. In most cases these women are blaming this issue on nurture ironically. Their parents believed this so they do as well. Parents told them that light skin was better and this opens the flood gates for them to believe such buffoonery.
This is a problem because being darker should not reach the level of disgust that it makes one bleach their skin to be lighter. I am personally happy to be of midnight complexion. I had to learn to be happy with me and what my appearance is. Being happy with me came not from outside people but a strong love for myself and my mother loving me. My mother is a shapely caramel toned woman with hair that grows at the snap of a finger and it is very thick. This is where I get my prototype of a woman from. I want my wife to be like my mother in some way, especially with her hair. My father is a deep brown colored man and his mother is closely darker than him. I would be disgracing my lineage if I ever said I do not want to ever date a darker woman.
In many cases these women have been so conditioned to their beliefs that their mind begins to let them see on an abnormal basis that their stereotypes are true.
3 comments:
I was raised by a woman that I would describe as "color-struck". She was a dark skinned woman and I was a bright skinned child. She also used to pinch my nose to make sure that it wouldn't get wide and flat. When I was younger I was raised by a woman that I would describe as "color-struck". She was a dark skinned woman and I was a bright skinned child. She also used to pinch my nose to make sure that it wouldn't get wide and flat. When I was younger I would use black as a pejorative, like "get your black self out of my face." When I went to college, began to read, learn about and reflect upon the class systems that were created simply to divide people of African descent, I began to consciously look at others and question my aesthetic or what I found attractive. When you know better, you do better but not necessarily.
I was on the phone with a friend the other day and she said to me, "Oh, Maggie sent me a picture of her daughter and I was surprised that she was really cute considering how dark she is." I was so stunned that I couldn't say anything. We've had similar conversations about the "good hair, bad hair" issue and I challenged her on describing a child with straight hair as having "good hair'. Intellectually she understands that these terms and beliefs are ignorant and incorrect but yet her reflex is to believe these things despite the knowledge. We are both over forty so as you said earlier nurture is a powerful force but I believe that decisions are equally so.
I'm the exact opposite bruh. I've always preferred darker guys over lighter guys.
This whole subject just sickens me. OMG I can't even finish watching that clip from the Tyra Show. For these BLACK women to think that lighter Black woman have it easier than darker Black women, is synonymous to them saying White people are better than Black people. Greatness is not dependent upon the color of one's skin, and it's very clear (to me at least) that each of the "light skinned" Black women on that show were as ignorant as ever.
1: "Oedipal complex," google it.
2: Skin tone really doesn't matter son, I can say that. So obviously two sides of the spectrum--all perspective.
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